DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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