Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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kk

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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i committed murder

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops