why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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