What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Kerry Katona becomes independent.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops