what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

Your mom went to college

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

You tell me. I have amnesia.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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