What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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I was watching Fox news.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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