A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

silver bullet?

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

black people swimming

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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