Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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This isn't funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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