So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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