what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops