Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

What do I hate? people

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

im saul and i love cock

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Matthew Wyckoff

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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