One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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a chinese man pays the full price

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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