How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Cliterus

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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9/11 my birthday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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