Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Pineapple.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops