Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops