A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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