So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops