Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Feminism.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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