Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

why was the cat black it was a black cat

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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