once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is a jew in space? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops