What is long hard and woody? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops