I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops