Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -23

call me maybe.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops