What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Men

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

68

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops