How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops