cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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Jeff

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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