why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Hey Shea

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops