Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops