What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ask me if i am a tree. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where can I apply for janitor school?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops