Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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poopy is poopy

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Justin Beiber

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops