-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Justin Bieber.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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