A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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