What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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This isn't funny.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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