If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops