What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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