Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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hi

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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what do you call a black guy african american

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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