- Anti Joke

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

A:Knock Knock B:It's open

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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