Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

hi

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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