The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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pee

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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