Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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69

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops