Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -12

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops