a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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lol

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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