How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

why did katy fall off her bike?

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

Can midgets still have big dreams?

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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