How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops