YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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8===D

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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