What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops