Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

i committed murder

What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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