How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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