What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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