What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

WILLY

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

Fat people

What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

A seal walks into a club.

Cancer. Super Cancer.

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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