A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Horse.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops