Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

thumb_up thumb_down -19

96

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops