What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops