Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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69.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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Your gay

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black people

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Mogok Papiti.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops