Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops